Cutting
by sakuraorihimeetc
Summary: read and find out
1. Chapter 1

She never meant to be this way. But she understood why everyone hated her, why she was so alone. Her face slipped into her hands and she cried for a few minutes before grabbing her scissors turning the music up loud and rolling up her pants.

She deserved this.

She forced the scissors down into her leg as hard as she could.

She needed this, the pain, the scissors tearing open her skin,

She gasped quietly in pain, drowned out by the music,

her eyes watered as she drove them deeper and deeper over and over as she began crying.

She couldn't help it.

She needed this.

If she died no one would miss her anyway.

It wasn't anyone's fault, it had to be hers. She didn't want anyone to worry. Maybe tonight would be too much. After all, how long before she went too deep? Behind cotton candy hair, emerald eyes shed tears as everything faded. Truth be told she just couldn't take it anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

The Next Day

Maybe no one would see.

Hidden guilt consumed her. Agonizing over this, she chose to shut herself off from everyone. Of course, no one could ever understand. Instead, she locked it up behind a fake smile. So what? It's not like she deserved love or aid. And if anyone ever found out, she'd be labelled a freak. Really, she could manage alone and this was best for everyone. Sometimes she felt herself slipping...


	3. Chapter 3

to guest - thank you so much but I don't have an instagram

She remembered when she was just a cherry blossom. Would anyone remember her when she died from it? Why does no one hear her silent screams? She remembered having dreams. But that was all history now. She was so sick of resisting. Wouldn't be much longer now. She couldn't keep doing this. She couldn't handle the darkness inside. She knew she was sick. She couldn't keep fighting, she was so sorry.


	4. Chapter 4

Gracelessly, she went through her daily life. Some days are better than others. Anyone who found out would abandon her she was sure. Cutting was her secret. Whatever, she could do this. Damn it! School was utter hell. Insufferable it was, day after day. Life was debatable. Maybe she should just disappear. As if, she was too much of a coward. As if she didn't have that thought .day. Moving through the motions was her main goal now. Maybe she could be normal. Heroine, she was not. Parading around with her dirty secret was impossible. Praise for her baggy hoodies. For without them, she'd be discovered. Water was what she wanted life to be like, fluid. For if it was not, how could she continue? Elephants had to have an easier time hiding secrets, even with their life time of locked away secrets never forgotten. Lively, were her friends. With them, she had to fake it. Historical fiction of the Victorian era was about as lively as she truly was. Details of her true life never mentioned, her cuts hidden behind clothes and locked doors and excuses. Unexpected, she supposed it was, for her to be this way.


	5. Chapter 5

Much too little blood, she thought to herself after her latest punishment. Wine red, she could've sworn it was. At this point, she was so numb she wasn't sure it mattered. Dinner tasted like giving up. And yet she stupidly ate it anyway. Asked her special friend, time to bleed it out. Her emotions were dead, she needed to feel so desperately. To abstain, to go cold turkey, was asking too much. Drive the blade down, it'll take you home, she thought to herself. Home is what can make you feel most deeply, and her apartment certainly wasn't a home. But, with this, she could make it. They,society, could never begin to understand.


	6. Chapter 6

Driving her crazy, it was. Force it deeper,she urged herself. They can never know. Can't you just love me endlessly, she asked the metal sliver in her hand. Be that as it may,she had to hurry before someone discovered her secret. Put it down, you have to, she ordered herself. Down dropped the blade. A minute later she picked it back up. Poignant, the memory of her first time was. And hear she was now, incapable of stopping. Novel idea addiction is, isn't it? A spot in her memories she'd replayed almost ceaselessly. Vivid was her pain. Expeditions in her mind were dangerous. Inside her mind, demons were a biker gang. Of course, they'll always get their way. The time to obey was now. Mind your own business, she wanted to scream at the people who asked if she were okay. A annoying question for sure.


	7. Chapter 7

Honesty, what a dangerous concept. And how ridiculous. A person being honest, is a person open to attack. Narrative after narrative of the comeuppance of liars, but never of what happens to the honest. That's not honest. Simultaneously, society expects you to be perfect. You can't be perfect and honest at the same time, no one can. Captivating was the blade, as it shone whenever the light hit it. And really, who could condemn something so beautiful?


	8. Chapter 8

It annoyed her, the way it never bled enough. Better to drop it for now , so quiet her mind now. She was sad, she knew. She didn't even know exactly what had her so upset. Looking across the room at the door, she tried to leave. With a small, nervous smile on her lips, she realized she wasn't ready. She stayed in the middle of the floor with her blade. The door was closed and locked perfectly. The blade caressing and kissing her skin. I love you it seemed to whisper to Sakura.


End file.
